LIVE

Cinderella is a big hit at our house. So is Belle, Sleeping Beauty, and the rest of them...something about hidden royalty dressed in yesterday's pjs just sits right with my girls. (yesterday's pj's is how my girls wear their princess-ness.) If you ask my 3-year-old her name, she'll tell you with hand on her hip and just a bit of attitude, "Princess Elise Carly Trivette". (and we just don't mention that Elise is really her middle name and not her first name because when "Princess" is not just a title but your NAME, everything else IS in the middle....who cares what order...)

I was thinking about our 100DAYS....to own the corner of honesty for a moment, my 100DAY resolution has been so long gone I'm not sure I would recognize the back of her head....life got in the way of my resolution....I got in the way of my resolution....why can I not for the LIFE of me just stick a commitment out till it's end? I can do it when it involves someone else in the mix...but when it's a commitment I've made to myself? Well, I give myself the short end of the stick every.single.time.

And here's what came to me this morning with an ugly-cry-heave of emotion lodging itself squarely in my throat....when we continue in the same pattern of slavery-lifestyle that dictated our past, we will never have time, room, or energy to engage in the priorities befitting our new station....to put it another way, when we, as Cinderellas, keep behaving like it's our job to be slave to a lie, we cheat ourselves - even prevent ourselves from fulfilling our royal duties as princesses(who we really are, royalty in Christ)....

God has a call on your life....but it is your choice to take that calling on and live it out. If you do not realize who you are in Christ, and who He is in you, you will forever be in a whirlpool of frustration....you know you are not as you should be, but what you know you should be doing, you don't do....the epitome of Romans chapter 7. And as my mother always says, "Stop 'shoulding' on yourself."

A devotional I was reading suggested these questions as checks to make sure we are living in a way that mirrors our true identity:
Have we been born again? Then we are of Christ and we can trust His finished work on our behalf.
In whom do we trust? Those who believe in Jesus are the sons (and daughters!) of God.
Whose work are we doing? (This is the one that made me choke on my own inhale) We are sure to serve someone, for whomever we serve is truly our lord.
What company do we keep? If we belong to Jesus, we will fellowship with those who wear the cross. (not literally, necessarily)
What is our conversation? Is it earthly or heavenly?
What have we learned of our Master? for servants learn much from their masters to whom they are apprenticed. If we serve our time with Jesus, it will be said of us, as it was of Peter and John, "They took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus."

In answering these questions we can clearly identify whether we are living like we're still slaves to our old lives, or if we are slaves to the Love that set us free....set us free to live out our "royalty" for the glory of Him Who saved us.....

"I am the resurrection and the life.

Those who believe in me will live, even though they die;
and those who live and believe in me will never die."
John 11:25-26

What is your name? "Oh, I'm just so-and-so's mom, so-and-so's wife, so-and-so's employee..."

No. NO! You are Princess. You are royalty. You are called to a divine inheritance and captured by an extravagant grace.

LIVE. LIVE!

From The Word....

He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me because He delighted in me....

Me: How can You delight in me? I'm a mess!

Him: How can I rescue one that doesn't need rescuing?

Me: But I'm such a mess! There's nothing delightful in that....

Him: Between the two of us, you are the only one fooled by the appearance of your good behavior. I know who you are and I love you...you bring me great delight. I love that you need me. Let me love you....

Me: (ugly cry with occasional snort) This cannot be beautiful....

Me Too

"I feel like you are expecting me to be perfect and your words sound harsh to me, that's why I'm crying!"

Her frustration and vulnerability mix in the sound of her voice, tears flowing over it all, in a rush of fear and obedience.

I have done it again. My selfishness has hurt her again. Not wanting to take the time to explain or to participate in the answer, I expect her to KNOW why, to just do it, and get over it. Move on.

But she's just a child. My child. One whom I have unintentionally hurt with my words, my tone, my actions...or inactions, as it may be.

My heart just breaks as I wonder how many times this has happened and she's not had the courage to say so.

Through tears of my own I thank her for being honest, for telling me truth even if it hurts. And I apologize for asking too much, for letting her think I expect perfection. Do I expect her to be perfect? It sure would be easier....But no, I just want her to be her. The best her she can be. She's the only oldest child I have and I just want her to be the person God made her to be. Everything else is just fluff, just extra.

In the quiet darkness of my room I cry out to God and tell Him this life is too hard, and I'm tired of trying to be perfect, and if I'm honest, sometimes He just seems harsh.

"Who says you have to be perfect, child? I just want you to be you. You bring Me much glory and joy when you are living out in pure authenticity exactly who I created you to be. This life is hard, so lean into Me, come to know Me in the daily moments of each hour, learn to trust Me, I am worth your trust. The more you come to know Me, the more you will be able to be you. I love you so."

Truth washes over my heart and I struggle to believe. I'm tired. And not yet ready to cave into His arms in surrender.

Hours pass, and as I check on her sleeping form and kiss her head 'good night' warm tears splash down and hit her pillow. The love I have for this child is intense and burns my heart sometimes. How in the world could I ever not have time for her and her questions, and her playing, and her talking, her incessant talking? She brings such joy to me when she's living out the essence of who she is and not living out of fear...I think these things to myself.

And quite suddenly I hear Him whisper in my heart, "Me too, sweet one. Me too."

Thoughts To Ponder

She said in her blog post,

"Today really is as simple as breathing and believing."

And I read this quote today:

"There is nothing but God's grace. We walk upon it; we breathe it; we live and die by it; it makes the nails and axles of the universe." Robert Louis Stevenson

And most importantly, these words:

"Search high and low, scan skies and land, you'll find nothing and no one quite like God. The holy angels are in awe before him; He looms immense and august over everyone around him. God...who is like you, powerful and faithful from every angle?" Psalm 89:6-8MSG

When She Cries Out

Her cry pricks my ears from rooms away. Its a cry of surprise and pain and hurt feelings. Mostly of pain. Funny how a parent can distinguish a cry down to its degrees of meaning. I pause for just a second to make sure I heard correctly. Yes, its a real cry. I come running. I can't help myself. My baby is crying and I must know why. Must make it better. So I run. Straight to her.

Hold her face in my hands as the words tumble out in pieces and hiccups and tears. Seems little sis was a bit too aggressive. Again. (insert large momma sigh here. Large as in size of sigh, not as in size of momma, thankyouverymuch)

And as we three hold hands and one tiny "sowwy" and genuine big hug is given and received, I remember something:

"Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice." Psalm 55:17.

He hears my cry. Immediately. In the book of Daniel, it says the angel of the Lord told Daniel that as soon as his prayer was uttered, it was heard, and an answer was given. He is moved by our cry.
Swiftly He moves, with certainty and intense purpose He holds us in His hands, as our words and pain come tumbling out. His heart is to heal and to make Himself known, the greatest healing balm...He comes quick for He can't help but be moved when His children cry.

And don't you know, like any good parent, He too, distinguishes, with precision, a cry down to its degrees of meanings. He knows my frustrated, cry, my scared cry, my angry cry, my physically in pain cry, my terrified cry, my fake cry. Oh yes, He knows the fake cry.

Hosea chapter 7 verse 14 says, "And they do not cry to Me from their heart when they wail on their beds;" (emphasis mine) Yes, He knows the fake cry. Does He still come? Well, He's always HERE, so to say He comes, is, well, a mis-perception. But there are times in the throws of a fake-cry-party where I am the sole star of my own show, I sense Him waiting. Waiting for me to get a hold of myself and take a breath. Waiting for me to see if I notice Him waiting. So I can be ready for His healing. He is ready, am I?

"O LORD my God, I cried to You for help, and You healed me." Psalm 30:2

"I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul, and You have set my feet in a spacious place. " Psalm 31: 7,8

"The righteous cry, and the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34: 17-19

The verses are many that proclaim how loving our Father is to hear and respond when His children cry out. My deep and intense love for my child, how I am moved to immediate action when I hear her cry is but a poor and pale reflection of how God cares for us in time of need, fake cry or not.

What about you? Real cry or fake? Angry or sad cry? Hurt or scared cry? Are you ready for the healing He offers? He's been waiting to love on you....are you ready?

Thoughts On Holiness, Part 1

Yesterday I posed the question, "What does God's holiness mean to you?"

No response.

And that's okay there was no response; ya'll are quiet folk. You pop over to read, usually not leaving a trace of your existence here...practically invisible. I feel like that most days too, so I get it.

But did you think about it? Did you think about what God's holiness means to you?

Not to whip out a can of melancholy, but my guess is, probably not. And you know why I think not? Because I believe, generally speaking, we don't have time to think about that kind of thing. Our lives are busy. BUSY. We have families and work and meetings and food, and laundry (can I get an Amen!) and cleaning and car trouble and - you name it - and we're trying to fit it into our already jam-packed lives.

Who has time to think about lofty things like God's holiness? Or holy anything? Unless its the new-found pair of hole-y unmentionables that are the ONLY ones you have clean and you are wondering if you can get away with the discomfort of wearing said hole-y things....

Brennan Manning once said, "Spirituality is not one compartment or sphere of life. Rather, it is a lifestyle: the process of life lived with the vision of faith."

I might would go a step further and say that it is not just a lifestyle, but LIFE. We are spiritual beings since we are made in the image of the Spiritual One. You either have the Life (Jesus Christ), or you don't. But I like that he brings out that spirituality is not one compartment or sphere of life. Pondering spiritual things like the holiness of God shouldn't be kept for Sunday morning preaching, or an occasional mid-week Bible class. But its "the process of life lived with the vision of faith."

Vision of faith.

Do you have that?

That's what it takes to begin to comprehend things like, the holiness of God. That, and a well-worn copy of the Good Book. And maybe a few commentaries. A Hebrew/Greek Dictionary....

And I would dare say, having a personal and Biblical grasp of the holiness of God will only enhance your vision of faith, if not set it ablaze.

Thoughts?

My Personal Version Of Crazy

So, I've been struggling with my blog...and thought I'd share what's been going on in my brain...see if you have any thoughts...

Most of the blogs I read are lovely, delightful - quite literally, light and airy in content; sweet and witty and funny; the kind of posts that make you sigh with contentment, they are just-that-good.

And then there is me. Melancholic by nature...and I mean almost ALL melancholic with a touch of phlegmatic...so, serious introvert. Serious. And introvert. My glass isn't half full or half empty. Its the wrong stinkin' size and I might cry over the fact that I can't find the right size cup.

Do you see my dilemma? I am comparing myself to all these lovely, light luscious, delectable blogs (do you know where those exact adjectives came from? If you can, you win a prize!) and I am heavy-duty dark chocolate, 99% cacao in fact, and to be taken in small portions with a very large glass of freezing cold milk.

The realization came to me today that its okay. Its okay that I am 99% cacao in a bloggy world filled with angel's food cake. Because sometimes you are in the mood for the cake, and sometimes you need something else. And perhaps, my blog is that something else. That bit of heavy-duty deep (and probably slightly melancholic) take on life. And God. And faith. And how that all works out on the pavement of our Tuesdays. And Wednesdays. And tomorrow-days. And I don't have to try and fit into the mold of lovely-light-luscious-delectable, because then I wouldn't be me. And there is just one me, you know? I should probably be me, since no one else is going to....

So, as I try and wrap up this never-ending tangent and get my blog back on a more consistent track, I hope you'll stick with me. I hope I'll be that acquired taste of 99% cacao that brings you into a more vibrant love-relationship with Jesus Christ. Because THAT is the point. All this nonsense writing....if just ONE of you, for ONE day, grew even an ounce closer to Jesus because of something you read here...well, I'd probably cry, to be honest with you. But then I would be so happy because the point would have been made. All this, is for the greater glory of God; His glory, shining bright in our every-day-ness, for all the world to see.

The Longest Post Ever

So I'm finally making good on that promise to write about our video session 3 weeks ago. Ya'll remember that one, right? What? You mean you can't remember if you brushed your teeth this morning let alone what we saw three weeks ago? Well! I never....
Seriously, in the video, Beth was reading from The Red Book, you know, the one with all the comments about what we think the three toughest things are about being a woman. One comment she read was, "Being too much and not enough all at the same time". Do you know how I remember that one? Because its mine. That's the answer I gave for my numbers 1, 2 and 3. Because that's how strongly I felt about it. For me, when I sent in my top 3 toughest things about being a woman, "being too much and not enough all at the same time" was such a burden to me, it was the only thing I could think of. Everything else seemed to be encompassed in that one statement. Now, I must say, its not really MY statement. I read it in a book...either Strong Women, Soft Hearts, or Captivating. Still, it rang true for me. But friends, here's the point: it may have RANG true, but its NOT TRUE. Its a LIE from the enemy himself, and one of his favorites he uses on me because I so easily buy into the lie. And Dear Sojourner in the Faith - its not true for you either. No matter how much you feel like it is.
In one of our first video sessions, Beth mentioned some Bible verses that she keeps by her bedside and reads just about every day to herself. Psalm 90:17 "And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us..." Song of Solomon 7:10 "I am my beloved's and his desire is toward me..." Did you know that the word "desire" in that verse means "to stretch out after"? God's desire is as if, quite literally, He were stretching out after you. She also mentioned Colossians 2:9, 10 "For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." This last verse hit home for me. Particularly in light of the above lie I have believed. Do you mind if I break it down for you? (If so, just stop reading.)
The word "in" found "For IN Him" and "you are complete IN Him" 'denotes a fixed position and a relation of rest. Common related words: by, with, among, at, on, through' So when the verse says that "In Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily" it means that He is at rest in that relationship and its a fixed position, it doesn't change. Similarly, when it says "you are complete in Him" its a fixed relationship of rest. There's no striving because there's no change in that state. The word "dwells" means 'always present'. In Christ, the Godhead is always present. Again, a fixed relationship. "Fullness" means 'as in filling up a ship, abundance, a fulfilling, keeping, fullness'. In Him is the abundance of God, constant, always present, and at rest. Here's the kicker for me; the word "complete" as in, "you are complete in Him" means (and I know this is long but please read all the definitions because it packs such a powerful punch): 'accomplish, completely, completion, end, fill up, fulfillment, be full, to cause to abound, furnish or supply liberally; render full, complete, to fill to the top so that nothing shall be wanting, to full measure, to the brim, to make complete in every particular, to render perfect, to carry through to the end, to accomplish, carry out, carry into effect, bring to realization, to cause God's will to be obeyed as it should be and to receive fulfillment.' Dear friends, YOU ARE (Fill in the blank with your favorite definition)__________ IN HIM, right now. Always.
If that isn't enough, yes we are in Him, but what is in Him? Remember? The fullness of the Godhead bodily. What does that mean? Well the rest of verse 10 says "Who is the head of all principality and power." I won't break down each word for you but basically the definitions of those words mean that He is the supreme, prominent Chief over every beginning and the first power over every single kind of power you can imagine - power of choice, physical power, mental power, power of authority, power of right, power of rule, governmental power. That's the power in you. Right now. That's the power in me. Right now. Our choice is to believe Him for it as truth.

Anyone need to know that in Him, you are "rendered full"? Or "supplied liberally"? Do you need to know today that in Him, "nothing shall be wanting" in you? or that you are "made complete in every particular"? Anyone need that hope, that bit of truth today besides me?

None of us are "too much and not enough all at the same time"; we "are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power."

All definitions were found on the Lifeway Library's website from the KJV with Strong's Concordance Bible choice.

He Loves You

There was a man I worked with a few years ago who consistently would tell his coworkers, "Jesus loves you today friend. Did you know it?" Most of us would roll our eyes at him and smile a "yes" so we could go about our day. For him, the statement was everything. For us, it was the first line of a children's song. Nothing else mattered but that Jesus loved him. All that seemed to matter for us was making the deadline, getting our work done and getting our paycheck. We didn't want to be bothered. But he wanted everyone to know what really mattered.

Turns out, he spent years on the mission field in Africa. Persecuted, facing hardship after hardship, battling the seen and unseen, the ONE thing that he clung to was the fact that Jesus loved him. His faith was not cultural, not natural, not a "given". It was life and sometimes literally death for him. What kept him from throwing in the towel was a love that compelled him, a love that captivated him and encouraged him to continue on. Not just any love. But a personal love. The love of Jesus.

Jesus loves you today friend. Did you know it?

Homegoing

Hello friends,

I'm posting from Michigan where I have been watching and waiting with my family. Watching and waiting for the home-going of a loved one. And today, while it was my turn to watch and wait, that dear loved one went to be with Jesus. The moment was indescribable and I'm blown away at the privilege to be the one to witness the departure. It made this world, the hospice room, and everything we consider "tangible" so surreal and - plastic, for lack of a better word. In those moments I was acutely aware that there is SO MUCH MORE to this life than what is around us and everything that is truly real is unseen. Squabbles, bickerings, misunderstandings, etc., are all a mute point when it comes time to meet the Lord. In the end, the only thing that matters is Jesus.   

On a lighter note, Rachel and I were playing "I spy" in the car and the game turned into "I hear". Same concept but its what you hear instead of what you see that is to be guessed. And Rachel says, "I hear, with my little ear, something like singing." And I, of course, say, "Oh! The radio!" "Nope," she says. After three more guesses I'm still wrong so I give up. Do you know what she heard? I'll quote her since I can't describe it any better:

"Mommy, can't you hear it? I hear God singing!"

Yes, I'm sure He was. 

Fun Friday Truth

Okay, so its not Friday. But Friday I was busy with "life" happening around me till I was 'bout dizzy. Here's a great quote, don't know who authored it, that made me smile and thankful:

"God believes in me,
so my situation is never hopeless.
He walks beside me,
so I am never alone.
God is on my side,
so I can never lose."

Dear friends, if on this Monday you are struggling, with attitude, family, work, finances, relationships of any sort, or just your current mood...Jesus loves you. The favorite child of God Almighty, is in love with you. He can't stop thinking about you and watched you sleepily open your eyes this morning, singing you a good-morning-song. You may not have heard it, but His voice stilled the angels working invisibly above you and they were in awe at the sound of His voice. And He sang for you. Because He loves you. Get it friends. Get that thought embedded in your brains this day. Before the dust of this world settles on you so thick you can't see straight. Jesus loves you. And because of that your "situation is never helpless", you are "never alone" and you "can never lose." Not today. Not any day.


Anyone else need that word-picture besides me today? 13 days till study starts! Do you have your book yet?

My Dog Just Dies For Chocolate

Two weeks ago I decided to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Accidentally, one partial cookie dough ball fell on the floor. Tragically, our dog (65 pound pit bull/lab) ate said cookie dough ball. I knew this was a very bad thing because growing up I had a French Toy Poodle who helped himself to a bag-full of chocolate chips that had fallen in our pantry. And that poor thing threw up all over the living room and dining room for hours. Why hours? Why all over the two rooms you ask? Because my sister and I (home by ourselves)were absorbed in a Corey Haim movie and couldn't get our eyes unglued from the TV long enough to clean the mess up or sequester the dog in the kitchen. For heaven's sake, it was Corey Haim! (For some of you that may have little to no significance, but let me just assure you, he was BIG STUFF for us growing up in the '80's. H-O-T HOT. ) I digress... Anyway, back to the current situation.


For two days we thought our dog was going to die. Lethargic, swollen throat, dry nose (isn't that bad for a dog?), wouldn't eat, wouldn't move, wouldn't go potty. And then on day three - praise the Lord! -he got up, ate something, threw up, and was his normal self.


But then a weird thing happened, every time I baked some of the cookies (I freeze the dough balls and only bake 8-10 at a time so they don't go to waste), he would come running, saliva all over the place, just waiting for a possible crumb of chocolate. Turns out, after dogs get a taste of chocolate, they crave it. Even though its deadly for them to ingest.


And friends, isn't that EXACTLY how we are with sin? We get a taste of it, maybe even accidentally, and it wields its evil in our spiritual lives. We are sick at heart, fear there is no hope for us...and then, miraculously, some of us recover. We repent and move forward. But that sin, so sneaky and deadly, becomes what we crave. We might not realize it, but we're aware of its scent, its oh-so-delicious scent and we want it. Knowing full well what will happen, we stalk the "kitchen" waiting for an opportunity to get another taste. And if we keep getting a taste, and another taste, and another, it will eventually kill us. How blessed are we to have a watchful "Chef" (work with me on this analogy) making sure not even a drop of a sin falls within our grasp! Let's be sure to not complicate His efforts by reaching for what is sure to harm us. No matter how much we think we want it.

Attraction

As we get closer to the inaugeration of another president, I've been contemplating the qualities of leaders; what qualities I enjoy and what ones are nails-on-a-chalk-board-aggravating. And in a broader sense, I've been thinking about what attracts me to a particular person....what qualities they reflect that get me drawn and caught like a fly to honey, or whatever that phrase is....

For me, the qualities that are most attractive to me are authenticity and integrity. And then I started wondering if they were the same thing or just inseparable. Can you be an authentic fake? Can you be true to yourself and not have integrity?

Anyway, I wonder what draws you? What qualities do you admire? In a leader? In a friend? A boss? A co-worker? A mate?

Crowded Kindnesses

In my devotional the other day I read these great words from George MacDonald:
"He is in our future as much as He is in our past, as much as, and far more than we can feel Him to be in our present...[We are] waiting for the endless good which He is always giving as fast as He can get us able to take it in."
I love that. First, that God is in our present more than we can "feel" Him to be. I don't know about you, but I have the tendency to rely on my feelings to dictate truth to me. What chaos that causes! A good friend once told me that feelings are like stop lights. They are meant for you to slow down take a look around and then move forward making sure you watch out for possible danger ahead. They are not the foundation for truth. Thank God He doesn't move in accordance with our feelings! Thank God He is true to Himself no matter how we feel.
Second, I take great comfort in realizing that God is always giving us "endless good" as fast as He can get us to take it in. What a wonderful picture that is! It reminds me of feeding time with Carly, my seven-month old. She loves some cereal but easily gets distracted by other things around her and I end up waiting on her to refocus, open her mouth so I can give her more of what she wants (and what is good for her nutritionally!) And how great is it that God's word says (Psalm 81:10) "I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. (to me, a symbol of the slave-relationship we had to sin before Jesus) Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." He's just waiting on us to refocus on Him!
Oh friends, let's not keep Him waiting!
"Seek to cultivate a buoyant, joyous sense of the crowded kindnesses of God in your daily life." Alexandar Maclaren

New Year, New Study, New Leader

Well, we've ushered in a new year. New hope. New beginnings. New opportunities. And in a few weeks, a new Bible study with a new leader. I have to admit, I have never felt so intimidated and small as when our fearless leader told everyone at our Christmas gathering that she would no longer be facilitating the Bible studies but had asked me to do it and I had accepted. Woah. I couldn't even look up for fear of what I might see in the eyes of those looking at me.

Newness can be upsetting to some, especially to those who like it the way it was. And Diane has done a fantastic job in walking with us through study after study, year after year. She has left some mighty big shoes to fill and I get very overwhelmed in imagining trying to fill those empty shoes. I'd much rather leave on my fuzzy slippers, thank you very much. But then I hear the Lord saying, "See, I am doing a NEW thing." "This is the way, walk in it." And I must accept the offer.

As we adventure a new Bible study together, I wonder if you won't take off your fuzzy slippers with me and put on some hiking boots. Let's do this new year right. Let's jump on board with God and see where He takes us. Let's do it together. Will you join me?