When Your Own Words Smack You In the Face

So, you know that my blog is called "Daily Faith"...."encouragement to walk the invisible path of God-pleasing faith on a daily consistency, even on a Tuesday." Well, here recently those words, MY words, started smacking me in the face. Did I really mean what I wrote? Was I living like I believed it?
I have been taking huge steps of faith...well, huge for me. First, about a month ago I accepted the role of Women's Ministry Director at my church. I've never been one of those (director, I mean, obviously a yes to the woman part) so I had no clue what I was doing. But I KNEW that God said, "This. You say 'yes' to this." So I did. Which was fine and dandy till my first team meeting when the reality of that decision set in. Talk about feeling inadequate.
My second huge step of faith happened this morning when I hit the SEND button on an email. An email going out to 47 people (give or take a few) asking if they would financially partner with me on some training that I would love to have in regards to this new director role. In fact, I've mentioned this training before. Its the She Speaks Conference. Remember when I wrote about how I was trying for a scholarship? Well, I didn't get the scholarship. But over time I have felt that I was still suppose to attend. Rather than hand out scholarships to women who need them, they do a scholarship drawing, like the one I applied for; or they encourage each person to raise their own scholarship. So, I wrote a letter to 47 people I know asking if they would help me raise my own scholarship.
"Nauseated" doesn't quite fit the description of what it was like, moments before and after hitting that SEND button. Anticipation, excitement, fear, dread, hope. A combination of those feelings all mixed up in one big tight knot in the pit of my stomach. It is hard for me to ask for help. Its a pride thing, letting others see that I cannot do something on my own. Its even harder when I know that every single person I sent that email to has not had it easy themselves in recent months. In some form or fashion, there was a reason NOT to send that letter to each and every person. And yet....and yet. God said, "This. You do this." And I said yes.
If you would like to know more about the conference itself, you can click on the She Speaks button to the right of the screen, or you can click here. If you would like to contribute to the cause..errr, my cause rather, you can click here. (Although I think anyone who reads this blog was in my contact list and has already received an email.) And I thank you, with tears and a full heart, in advance for your prayers and your giving, if you feel so led. Its nice to partner with others when walking this invisble path of faith...even on a day like today...