Not Yet

Last week was a rough week for me. The throws of summer vacation had my schedule all wack. My selfishness was getting poked, prodded, pulled and punched. And I didn’t much like it. I rebelled in anger, that my way wasn’t getting done and I turned into an ugly personality that no one, not even myself, wanted to be around.

Ever not want to be around yourself? Yah, that was me.

Until I got away with the Father…had some quiet moments with the One who knows. I love that Scripture says He is a God who knows….He knows it all, and more, He knows me.

He knows me.

He knows you.

And I sat in His presence and read His words, listened to His Spirit and just cried. And waited for a whisper, if He had one to share….and He did…perhaps just because He knew I wanted one.

“Be still in this refining process. I am preparing you for service in My house and you are not ready. Be still. I have not asked much of you yet.”

“I have not asked much of you yet.”

The frustrations, irritations and exhaustion of the week – all real, all valid – it's weight equals “not much”….I wonder how many of us move through life with a burden we imagine unbearable, though our Father is whispering, “I have not asked much of you yet….”

I say it gently. Even now I think of several who, it seems, from my limited view of the play-by-play, have been asked of much, and who are carrying on in amazing ways.

But what if…oh, dare I say it?….what if, even their seems-so-much, is really still-not-much? Not that it isn’t worth anything, or hasn’t cost them something in the process…

but what if there is more…so much more that Father dreams to ask of us, if only we would stop fidgeting and complaining long enough to hear His whispered request….the “ask” that feels like if we agree, our entire life will be gone…

But oh…isn’t that what we were told from the beginning?

“Now there were some Greeks among those who were going up to worship at the feast, these then came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida of Galilee, and began to ask him saying, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.”…And Jesus answered them saying, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.  He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” (John 12:20-26)

From the beginning, He asks of us everything. He asks for our very lives…but He does not force us to make good on the promise, even though He has kept up His end before we’ve even said, “Yes”.

We promise Him all, when we ask Him to be our Savior and our Lord, but we have no clue as to what that really means, how it really plays out…and He is so gentle in the showing us…not demanding too much, too soon…but slowly, so slowly….He reveals to us what it means to have Him save us….daily saving us from ourselves…from the old mindset, the old patterns, the worn-through-with-familiarity-ways…

He dreams big dreams for us….can you imagine what He has in mind for us! If we would only release the hold we have on our lives…our dainty lives and follow Him.

Like the seed…completely encapsulating everything it is destined to be, it remains only a seed until it is planted, as good as dead, and buried, to bring forth something it could never be unless it died….fruit…fruit that will last…..

In Christ, we are everything He ever meant for us to be…but until we lay it all down, reckon ourselves dead, buried in Him and raised to newness of His life…we will never birth all that He has planned for us.

Do you see? If we want to see Jesus, in our life, in our walk, in US…then we must follow Him. Him, not our own agendas, plans, preferences…but Him.

We are all called to service in His house. And the way to serve is to die…to our wants, desires, all that is not of Christ. If we don’t die, we live alone. If we die, we live with Him, bearing much fruit, living the life that is true living…

It sounds okay on paper…the reality of it on my Monday afternoon, Thursday morning, or whatever day I wake and do not renew my mind to His Truth,… it smacks my pride, my flesh, my all that is not of Him….

But what do I want?

I want to see Jesus….

“If anyone serves me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also.”

That’s what He says.

Can’t I follow Him today? Can you?

He has not asked much of us yet….