The Journey Begins

The skinniest I've ever been was at age 20. Thing is, I didn't even realize it. I mean, I knew I liked how clothes looked on me, and what size I was, but it didn't comprehend as skinny to me. (Don't roll your eyes at me yet, keep reading.) Over the next ten years I gained 60 pounds. Six Zero friends. Did I mention I'm only 5'4"? Sixty pounds is SUBSTANTIAL for someone my height. Very noticeable. But it crept on. And one day I woke up heavier than my husband. Miserable in my clothes and hating that pair of jeans I saved from college because I knew that one day they would fit again.

I could say the weight gain was low thyroid or the two pregnancies or the hormones I had to take to get pregnant. Or the lack of funds to go to the gym consistently. But really, food became a comfort to me. Eating was the "treat" we afforded ourselves the first (and current) unemployment season. It was what I went to when I was bored. Or angry. Or tired. Or defeated. I couldn't afford to go shopping or to the movies or on holidays. But I could afford chocolate. Or chips. Or ice cream. Or fajitas.

Over the last few months, Lysa Terkheurst (Proverbs 31 Ministries) has been talking about her battle with food over here and I've become increasingly annoyed. I don't want her to talk about food, or her 30 pound weight loss or how it was a battle she won one choice at a time, making deliberate choices to replace junk with Scripture and healthy food. It just down-right annoyed me. Because she was right.

Satisfying my insatiable need for instant-comfort/gratification had become a god to me. For years I had slowly been going to food for comfort instead of to the Scriptures and to God. What began as an innocent "treat" became a "right" and eventually turned into a version of life to me.

The Bible is pretty clear: HAVE ONE GOD. Have the God that says, "Open wide your mouths, and I will fill it." That's where the life is. The real life. Not the plastic one filled with sugar and trans-fats and calories and weight gain and guilt and defeat and slavery. But the life that is filled with utter dependence on a God who is completely love and completely good and desires to give good things to His children as fast as they are able to take it in.

Do you know what the rest of that verse says in Psalms 81? Starting in verse 8 where God is speaking: "Hear, O my people, and I will warn you - if you would but listen to me, O Israel! (9) You shall have no foreign god among you; you shall not bow down to an alien god. (10) I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. (11) But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. (12) So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. (13) If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, (14) how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes! (15) Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him, and their punishment would last forever. (16) But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

Sermons could be preached on these verses. Over the next few posts we'll go through some of the thoughts that jump out. Friends, this is a fresh work I'm currently experiencing. I'm not on the other side. Not even close. Not even half way yet. The reason I am so vulnerable with you today is because this journey I am in requires accountability and a place of "no-going-back". Writing this post is my "no-going-back" place.

I'm proud to say I'm fourteen pounds closer to my goal, but I have a LONG way to go. Its going to require sacrifice and discipline and an UTTER DEPENDENCE on the ONE TRUE GOD. Will you join me? Food issues may not be your struggle. Perhaps your "foreign god" is something quite different. But the framework for freedom will be same. Release. Repent. Depend. For starters, let's do two things. First, put your name in place of "Israel" in the above verses. Personalize the Scripture so it hits home for you. Second, if you are willing to join me in this journey, will you let me know? You don't have to be specific, just let me know. We need all the prayer we can get and we can pray together.

Today is your "next time", your "tomorrow", where you start over. TODAY. Just think where we will be come spring. The day we celebrate our Lord's resurrection, what personal "newness of life" we will be celebrating too? Beyond whatever goal we reach, the real "win" will be that we have ONE GOD. The true God. Filling our every need above and beyond what we thought possible.

Will you join me?