Thank you for letting me get on (and then off) my soap box this past weekend. Apparently I needed to vent. Whew! And then I needed to get some space as I had a few more things I wanted to say. I'm so glad I didn't! Do you ever get like that? One thing spurs another in you and you just want the whole world to know the gospel according to you? Mercy. Some things are better left with some space around them.
So I mentioned on my online chat thingy that my dear hubby shaved his head for his momma. I've never personalized her on here but I've talked about her some. She is losing her battle with cancer and we're near the end. My precious six-year-old asked me last night when she was going to die. I about lost it. Taking the cheaters way out I said, "We're all going to die baby...." but she's too smart for me and told me in no uncertain terms that she new granny was going to die before anyone else and wanted to know when. And I had to say, "Soon" although I quickly punctuated it with saying that we couldn't know for sure. She may rally and surprise us all. But it seems the fight's gone out of her.
My husband's decision to shave his head came on a whim. And it gave her a few minutes of hollering his full birth name at her loudest decibel. He said it was worth it. Worth it to make his momma smile. Her cancer is not unusual. Her situation is not unusual. It just stinks. A LOT. We have been struggling with how much to tell our daughter, (obviously she didn't need us to tell her anything) and how to move through these phases of cancer in support and not in opposition to his mom. And what I mean by that is, if she's done fighting, we need support that instead of pushing her to a place she doesn't want to be. So hard. So difficult. So painful. And my sweet man gave us all a few minutes of "so funny". A few minutes of lightness in the midst of such heaviness. Sorrow can be so heavy.
So now that I've shared most personally with you, I want to hear from you! Anything happen in your life where you or someone you know gave a bit of lightness to some darkness? Any moments of laughter in the middle of tears? Let me know your stories. I love hearing from you.
I am sorry for your current struggle and grief. It is so often more difficult to let a loved one go, then for them to accept their own end. I am praying for your whole family. I wish my hospice experience would be helpful to you. If you think that it might, you know how to reach me.
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