How do you get your child to do their chores? Is asking a 5 year old to pick up her room too much? What consequences do you give when they don't do it? Do you agree that delayed obedience is disobedience?
I'm asking...I'd love to know your thoughts...please....I'm about to put myself in a time-out I'm so frustrated!
This was always a tough one for Devon. But we started requiring her to clean her room at Rachel's age. We did this every Saturday. We did it WITH her the first time so she would know what was expected, how to do and what we want to it look like when she is done. We also paid her for it, taking out 10 percent for savings and 10 percent for tithe. Every year we added new elements to the room cleaning (i.e. change sheets on the bed, vaccauum, sort laundry, etc), with assitance the first time from us to set the expectations and a small increase in pay. At some point we also had to put a time limit on the activity as she has been known to take 4 hours to clean her room (with mediocre results) if she is not given that boundary. We always add the new element in the summer.
ReplyDeleteNow, as far as keeping the room clean during the week, we have lower expectations, but they are still there. We do a similar thing by demonstrating what we want it to look like first (everything off floor, trash in the garbage, bed made, clothes put away, etc) and have even taken pictures to avoid arguments. In the summer this activity is done every day after breakfast and before she does anything else. During the school year it is done before she can eat supper. We do not pay her for the daily quick pick-ups - this is just expected maintenance. We do, however, dock her weekly allowance if she does not do the full clean or the daily pickup within the time frame and to our satisfaction. We also dock pay for a bad attitude. Because money is her "currency" so to speak, this has been a great motivator. When you figure out what is Rachel's "currency" (i.e. social activities, crafts, some other kind of priveledge, etc.) you can use this to help you both come to a mututally benefitial situation. I hope this was helpful to you. It took us YEARS of much frustration and tears before we finally arrived at this system and it works really well for us, virtually eliminating tears and frusteration. Perhaps this will help you adapt one for your situation. Blessings!
Jkleinheksel what a great suggestion. We too are struggling with chores with our 4 year old and it drives me crazy. She gets so distracted while picking up her room it also could take 4 hours. Jody thanks for asking and for getting a great suggestion. Robn
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